Allergic to Shopping

James L. Davis

I wonder if it might be possible to develop an allergic reaction to shopping. If it were possible to develop such an allergy, I would be very interested in discovering exactly what you needed to do to produce such a reaction.

Because whatever you had to do to develop an allergic reaction to shopping I would be willing to try if it meant that I would never have to go shopping again, up to and including running naked down the aisles…OK, on second thought, I wouldn’t do that. The psychological scars I would cause countless scores of shoppers wouldn’t make it worth it.

It’s not that I hate shopping, well, yes; it is because I hate shopping. I don’t just hate shopping, I loathe shopping. But I have a great many reasons why I hate shopping, not the least of which is that shopping does irreparable harm to my wallet.

To some people shopping is a sport, or a treat or perhaps even a necessity, but to me it is a chore, a chore that sometimes I am powerless to get out of, but I try mightily. My wife enjoys shopping, as do most of my kids. But unlike my wife, my kids want to go shopping only as long as they have money in their pockets. Once they have exhausted the money in their pockets and have come to the realization that they will not be allowed to exhaust any of the money in my pocket, they are ready to leave.

But my wife goes shopping for a social experience. Born and raised a country girl she knows 99.9 percent of everyone in a two-county area. Since she is a veterinarian technician she also knows their animals. So whenever we go shopping we have only a 20 percent chance of actually making it through the front door before my wife bumps into someone to talk to. It’s not that I am antisocial, OK, maybe it is. I like to be social, but not particularly when there are people waiting for me to buy something. Because when there are people waiting for me to buy something my first inclination is…to buy something, whether I need it or not.

My wife does not feel this kind of pressure. She can walk through a store, spend four and a half hours visiting with friends and neighbors and leave the store with virtually nothing in hand and be totally content. Of course by that time I have filled up two shopping carts with enough merchandise to squander my children’s inheritance.

So after my wife has visited with everyone and I have filled two shopping carts she will catch up with me and let me know who it was she has been talking to, what kind of animal they own and what the animal’s mental and physical condition is and whether it has a good or bad disposition. I will nod at her and smile and marvel at not only her memory but her interest in other people’s animals. I don’t even know what my own animals’ mental and physical condition is and whether it has a good or bad disposition. And I don’t care to know. I just don’t want any of them to pee on the carpet.

So with my wife back at my side she removes the things that we don’t need out of our shopping carts, leaving us with one shopping cart with four items in it and the other one safely parked out of my reach.

With my wife guiding my shopping efforts I try to follow along behind her to catch all of the items she deposits with glee into the shopping cart, because as the man I am the driver of the shopping cart. If I was not the driver of the shopping cart I would be responsible to be the filler of the shopping cart and then I would just fill it with things that we don’t need. The problem with following behind my wife is that she is a slow shopper, even when she is not talking to a friend or neighbor. That is because she is wasting valuable time actually thinking about what she is buying and wondering whether it is something the family might enjoy.

“Do you think the kids would like lasagna this week?” she will ask and I will nod enthusiastically because of course my kids would like lasagna this week and in this I am totally sincere. I know that my kids would like lasagna because my kids would like virtually anything as long as I was not the one making it. I know this because my kids have told me with great sincerity that they would like virtually anything as long as I was not the one making it. In this my children show great wisdom.

So as my wife gathers up the ingredients for lasagna I push the cart in front of her, thinking that if I am leading the way we might get through the store a little faster. As I am walking in front of my wife I engage her in grocery store banter, asking whether we might need this item or that item, my mood improving as we walk because eventually we will run out of store and will be able to go home. As I walk a woman walks down the aisle toward me and I notice as she grows closer to me that she is giving me a wary look, as if she is worried I might suddenly begin to laugh hysterically or perhaps strip my clothes off and start running through the store, so I stop talking to my wife and look back. And of course my wife is not there. My wife has in fact disappeared. I have no idea where she has gone but she is no longer in the same aisle as I am and I realize that I have been having a conversation with nobody, which might explain the wary look on the other shopper in the aisle.

Eventually I find my wife two aisles back, still gathering ingredients for lasagna and I spend the rest of our shopping excursion dutifully following behind her and saying very little to anyone at all.

Before my wife and I were married I used to be able to go shopping in less than 20 minutes time for everything my family might need. Of course, we ate a lot of the same things, which might explain my children’s aversion to hot dogs, macaroni and cheese and Hamburger Helper, but I was a certified speed shopper and of that I was very proud.

My wife won’t let me go shopping by myself very often. She says it is because she doesn’t like for the family to eat nothing by hot dogs, macaroni and cheese and Hamburger Helper. But I suspect that the real reason is because she is afraid I might try to develop an allergic reaction to shopping by running naked down the aisles.

Whatever Happened to the Pioneer Spirit

By Jerry Stotler

What ever happened to the pioneer spirit that made America great? What is the pioneer spirit anyway? It is the driving spirit that caused the pioneer families to venture into the unknown wilderness, stretching themselves in hope for a better future? It is the great spirit of adventure, of the hardy men and women with great character that were willing to risk, to strive and mold a future from nothingness into a home and then a community? They left the comfort of civilization heading into what they perceived would be an extreme hardship. They were men and women of great character for sure, because in order to create a home from nothing in the wilderness requires people of courage and an almost brutal honesty. You can’t lie to you self and still survive under such harsh conditions. You can’t sit on the couch and wait for some government agent to bring you a wagon load of food that you think you are entitled to, or go to the local welfare office and ask for a had out.

There have been recent attempts to recreate the situation faced by pioneers which revealed the extreme hardships they faced. Some of the men and women were able to finish the year in the wilderness, but a few were unable to handle the difficult lifestyle involved in building their log homes with old fashioned tools and plowing the fields with a horse and old fashioned plow. If they got sick, it was down right dangerous.

I admire those mighty pioneers greatly. I don’t know if I”m man enough to create a home and ranch from stark wilderness, from nothing but dirt. Those first pioneers were men and women of great courage. They were over comers in every sense of the word. They had no unemployment system to take care of them. They had no welfare system to feed them if they got sick and tired of working. They had no government entitlement system to give them a roof over their heads. Yet they took care of themselves and their families by the sweat of their brows and the blisters on their hands. Certainly, they helped each other in a spirit of reciprocity, but if a man was lazy - there was no respect or sympathy for the man too lazy to work all day.

The Bible says in Prov 6
Go to the ant, you sluggard!
Consider her ways and be wise,
7 Which, having no captain,
Overseer or ruler,
8 Provides her supplies in the summer,
And gathers her food in the harvest.
9 How long will you slumber, O sluggard?
When will you rise from your sleep?
10 A little sleep, a little slumber,
A little folding of the hands to sleep --
11 So shall your poverty come on you like a prowler,
And your need like an armed man. NKJV

I love this proverb. It contains so many lessons. The work ethic of the pioneers were much like the ants.

Did you ever actually watch the ants. They are amazing! They don’t have a shift foreman or supervisor telling them what to do. If fact they don’t have any supervision at all. The just work, work, work - first shift, second shift, third shift, all around the clock. You have probably had the experience of getting up one morning to a kitchen full of ants. During the night their scouts discovered some food residue on the kitchen counter or floor. It did not take them long to pass the message to the colony, and there they came - thousands and thousands of them with no boss to tell what to do. What a great work ethic we can learn from them - as long as there is work to do each one will keep at it. And they did not do it just long enough to get today’s food supply, They worked extra hard to store up for their tomorrows, for their retirement. Those short on character moved back to the towns and cities.

Did you ever stop to think about how much money you need to retire at your current life style. Most of us will live into our eighties and nineties with many living past 100. What if you lived to ninety five? How much money will you need to avoid living on charity. Well, if you spend $30,000 per year in you current life style and you live thirty years in retirement, you will need $30,000 times 30 years or $900,000, without inflation. Are you on track to retirement or are you behind schedule? Maybe you need to adjust your savings plan. Go to the ants and consider their ways and be wise. (Jerry Stotler resides in Ferron.)

Public Forum

Is it really an admirable thing or is it out of desperation?

I have provided foster care services for the State of Utah for the past 10 years. I have had many girls come and go with great success. Many of these girls have grown to be great young ladies.
Over the past 10 years I have received comments from neighbors, family, friends, strangers of how they admired what I have done or told me it takes a special person to do what you do, or that they are glad I’m willing to take these girls, because they couldn’t. The sincerity I have felt from the community with these comments has given me a sense of support in what I have done over the years.

Only recently has a city been asked if it was that desperate to allow a residential treatment center in their community. If helping troubled youth is a call of desperation then where is our shame?
I am not calling upon the citizens to deal with these troubled youth; I am just asking to use a building in their city, a building that gives these girls plenty of room and opportunity to become young ladies that can succeed if given the chance.

With fears stirred of stories or removing the skeleton of a youth off the mountain a judgment has been made against my business. I have tried to assure everyone that I am not bringing extremely disturbed or troubled youth, but just teenage girls with mild behavioral problems.
I encourage all citizens to write Ferron City of both concerns and support for this business that is only intended to help girls in need.

- Charlotte Williams
Orangeville

Scary Politics

As the 2008 political campaign gets underway, I am surprised and dismayed at the factors and issues used to determine who will be the next president of the United States. It seems to be more of a popularity contest for the senior prom king or queen. The focus seems to be on who has the nicest smile or personality. Political party, ethnic background, gender and religion seem to be more of a consideration than the ability to govern the nation, balance the budget, establish domestic and foreign policy, secure our borders, establish policy concerning illegal aliens, address the nations health crisis, establish an energy policy and the countless other issues that arise daily.

As we look at each of the candidates, we should try to picture them meeting with heads of state of foreign countries, deploying military forces, dealing with terrorist attacks and in general maintaining our way of life and the freedom that many have fought and died for. We are living in perilous times and unless we are careful, we may lose many of things we hold most dear.

- Don Price
Oklahoma