New Year’s Resolutions

James L. Davis

The days between Christmas and New Year’s Eve have always been ones of deep introspection for me, possibly because I have gorged myself so much on Christmas Day that I lack the energy and the desire to even lift my finger to change the television channel. With that being the case it does leave me some time on my hands to be introspective.

Usually on New Year’s Eve I will finally build up the will (if not the desire) to lift myself off of the couch. Of course, like most men who have reached such a deep, meditative state on the couch, I lift myself from the couch by first falling off of the couch. Forcing your body to roll takes less energy than actually lifting yourself up, so I find it to be a very good place to start after so many hours and days of introspection. Once I have rolled my body off the couch it is only a short amount of time before I am ready to rise to my feet. That is because the floor is not nearly as comfortable as the couch, so my desire to rise is increased tenfold. Once I have climbed with great groans and painful moans to my feet I will waddle to the kitchen table and begin the process of putting down my deep introspective thoughts on paper in the form of a New Year’s Resolution list.

As I am sure is the case for 90 percent of the population of the United States, the first thing on my list is:

#1. Lose Weight.
This has been number one on my New Year’s Resolution list for at least the past 10 years, since I was in my early 30s and was young and full of energy, ambition and had a sparkle in my eye. I no longer look like that man. Looking in the mirror today I now resemble someone who has eaten a man who is full of energy, ambition and had a sparkle in his eye.

When I was in my 30s and was full of energy, ambition and had a sparkle in my eye the number one thing on my list was to get myself in shape, which is very similar to what I resolve to do today, except back then I was looking to gain muscle, not lose weight. Ironically, I employ the same tactics now to lose weight that I did back then to gain muscle. I lift weights. Back then I lifted weights because I wanted larger arms, broad shoulders and muscular pectorals. While I am happy to say that I developed all of those things through my efforts when I was young and full of energy, ambition and had a sparkle in my eye, today the muscles on my arms, while still present, are in hiding, my shoulders are broad, but a little more rounded than I had originally sculpted them and my pectorals now require a C cup to contain them.

I have to admit that I have no idea why I lift weights today, other than I enjoy lifting weights far more than I enjoy making my heart pump faster, which I was shocked to discover was required for cardiovascular exercise. But now that I am beginning to understand how frustrating women find it when people look at your chest when they talk to you, I have resolved that in 2008 my weight loss techniques will include a healthy dose of running, hiking and lunges.

Lunges I recently added to my list of exercises I will do in 2008 because I attempted to do some lunges with my daughter back in November and discovered I would need at least until the new year to be recovered enough to attempt them again. For those of you who have never attempted a lunge, I highly recommend that you do not try them. The pain far outweighs any benefit this exercise might bring to you physically.

My daughter brought this exercise home from school after she said her basketball coach made the entire team perform approximately 437 lunges. She asked me to give them a try because my daughter draws delight in seeing me suffer agonizing pain.

Lunges involve standing straight with your hands on your hips. You take one giant step forward, fully bending your legs and then you do the same thing with the next leg. It is a long, slow, torturous walk at the end of which I had body parts quivering that I was not aware had the ability to quiver.

So losing weight being first on my list for new year’s resolutions, the remaining New Year’s resolutions begin to fall into place because they are all much easier than the first resolution. In no particular order, my remaining New Year’s Resolutions include:

#2. Bringing Peace on Earth;

#3. Convincing Britney Spears to go into hiding;

#4. Making all celebrities understand that just because they appear on TV or the movies does not make them the authority on world hunger, politics, the environment, marriage, religion or health. It doesn’t, in fact, make them an authority on anything other than being seen on TV or the movies.

#5. Being a better husband and father. I have this one on my list every year and it will be on the list every year until I die because it’s a job that will never be finished.

#6. Stop snorting when I laugh. This is a new one for me this year because I have only recently begun snorting when I laugh. I have no idea why I have begun to snort when I laugh, other than sometimes things strike me as funny, so funny apparently that I begin to snort. I would be interested in discovering if there was some way to measure exactly when things become so funny that a human being begins to snort laughter. Because I like laughing and other than quitting laughing altogether I don’t know how to stop from snorting when I laugh.

#7. Do a flip on the trampoline. I have tried many times to perform a flip on the trampoline and have failed miserably every year, although I have become quite adept at making my children laugh while attempting a flip on the trampoline and I have also become quit good at screaming like a schoolgirl, which leads me to my next resolution.

#8. Stop screaming like a schoolgirl.

#9. Once again be a man full of energy and ambition with a sparkle in my eye
And last, but not least…

#10. Don’t throw away my New Year’s Resolution list. This one is critical the day after New Year’s when, after performing lunges, I will slip into a state of denial about what I resolved to do.

Whirlwind first year comes to an end

James L. Davis
and Colleen A. Davis

It sure seems like a year should have taken longer than that. But 2007 has already slipped into history and with it The Emery County Review has officially been serving its readers for one year.

When the first issue of The Emery County Review hit the streets on Jan. 2, 2007 there was a knot in our stomachs the size of a basketball. We had been seriously thinking about starting the newspaper for more than a year and had been actively involved in preparing to start the newspaper for months, but with the printed product bundled and waiting for us to distribute it the reality of what we had undertaken hit home. Could we really do this, was the overwhelming question and every time we considered that question the knot in our stomachs grew a little bigger.

But as with any small business owner, we had already leapt off the cliff and it was too late for second guesses. We either flew or we fell.

When we started the newspaper we knew what we wanted to provide to the people of Emery County. We wanted to celebrate the community we love being a part of. We wanted to tell the stories of the people who live, work and play in Emery County and we wanted to become a source of information that people could count on to provide the news as unbiased, accurately and timely as we could.

We had our dreams of how we would be received by the people of the county. We had our projections and our milestones that would lead us from one goal to the next and we have been overwhelmed with the support we have received from the people of Emery County.

At The Emery County Review we strive to tell the stories of those who live here and we try to live by our motto that “You’re News to Us.” To accomplish that task we simply try to be an unabashed cheerleader of the county, its people and way of life.

When we started this newspaper people asked us on more than one occasion how we would be able to fill the newspaper each week, there wasn’t enough news in Emery County. Finding the stories has never been the problem; finding time in the day to gather them has been the problem.

In a year of twists, turns and bumps it has continually amazed us to discover how many incredible people there are in the county, how many incredible stories there are to be written. As a reporter for a small, family owned newspaper, one of the greatest perks of the job is the fact that you get the chance to visit with people from all walks of life who have amazing stories to tell. We have been fortunate to be able to share some of those stories with our readers this past year and we look forward to telling the stories of Emery County for many years to come.

Each week our small staff gathers to discuss the coming week and we devote much of our time discussing how we can make the newspaper better for our readers. We are dedicated to improving your newspaper each and every week and we value your input on how we can do our job better.

As a family owned business we have been incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to hire a dedicated and talented staff and we are grateful to have them as part of our team. They are: Lyndsay Reid, Advertising Design and Office Reception; Charlotte Williams, Advertising Sales; Staff Writers Kathy Ockey and Judi Bishop, Sports Writer, Vallyn Bernard; and Web Master, Casey Wood. We couldn’t have made it through our first year without them.

In the coming year we have a number of new features on the horizon that we believe will make the newspaper better than ever.

We want The Emery County Review to reflect the community it serves and as we begin our second year we invite you to join us as we celebrate your friends, your neighbors, your town…your life.

Quotable

As we face a new year, the staff of The Emery County Review thought we would take a look back at some of our favorite quotes from some of people we visited with in 2007.

“Daily…minutely.”
- Troy Huntsman, when asked how often he relies on his faith when it comes to running his business, Huntsman Motors.

“Go ahead and start.”
- Joanie Heiniger to her mother, Cyndi Brotherson, as her mother started to cry when asked how proud she was of her sons, who are serving in Iraq.

“I’ve had a lot of people ask me, now what are you going to do and for me the answer is, I don’t know.”
- Lady Spartans Coach Steven Gordon, responding to people’s questions after his team won the 3A state basketball championship last year.

“I’ve put all of my eggs into one basket. I try not to think of that too much.”
Nicole Lobato of All-Star Equipment Rental, talking about her new business venture.

“I took 40 shots at a snake. That’s really crappy shooting.”
- Don Burge of his aim while shooting at a rubber snake at a Balanced Rock Regulator shoot.

“They like corn. They’re corn dogs.”
- Marqui Moss of Orangeville about her dogs, who like to eat the corn the Moss family raises each year.

“You may not be able to keep us quiet long enough to interview us.”
Connie Jones of an attempt to interview the daughters of Jesse and Edna Sitterud.

“I can’t think of any place that has as many talented people as Emery County. What do we make better in Emery County than anybody else? People.”
- Neal Peacock of Castle Dale, on Emery County’s greatest asset.

“I thought about taking a poke at him, but thought he might take a poke at me.”
Jack Magnuson of Castle Dale on confronting an intruder in his home.

“They are surprisingly comfortable to lay in.”
Jay Fausett of Orangeville, of trying out a coffin after custom painting one for a friend for his haunted house